#31 Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that’s just greedy.

#30 Women who claim they “love to watch sports” must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

#64 Two things a man must do on Thanksgiving a) he must watch football and know who is playing (refer to man law #33) b) he must cut the bird or meat Turkey, Duck, Chicken, Ham, Ribs

#29 When watching a “catfight” it is perfectly acceptable to choose sides. It is also perfectly acceptable to pray for rippage of clothing.

#27 No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy’s birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy’s choice.

#26 “You Poke it you own it.”
—Miller Light
Keep your finger out my beer.

#22 Always accept beer from a stranger, but only if unopened/capped.

#21 Never wear make up. Exceptions are if you are using it to cover a black eye or scare during a wedding or family picture.

#20 “No fruit in beer”
—Miller Light

#19 If a Man is busted by a woman for gawking at her or her “Lovely Lady Lumps”…He shall NOT snitch on ANY other men involved in the gawking, even if they originally diverted his attention her way!!